What Actually Happens During: Labor, Delivery, and Those First Few Minutes

Labor Is Intense – That’s the Point

Ask anyone who’s been through it: labor is called labor for a reason. It’s intense, it involves real pressure, and there’s no version of it that feels effortless. But most people find that once they’re in it, the anticipation of meeting their baby takes over more than the discomfort itself.

A few things that genuinely help:

• Childbirth education (like Lamaze) matters. Knowing the stages ahead of time – and having breathing patterns already practiced – takes a lot of the unknown out of the room, and the unknown is usually scarier than the sensation itself.
• Go with your body’s natural movement rather than fighting it. Resisting a contraction tends to make it feel worse, the same way bracing against an impact makes a car accident hurt more. Easing into what your body is already doing is the whole strategy.
• Pick one fixed point in the room to focus on. It sounds simple, but having one visual anchor cuts down on the sensory overload of a busy delivery room and makes it easier to stay relaxed between contractions.

Reframe Fear and Anxiety – Don’t Fight Them

Most of us are taught that fear and anxiety are problems to eliminate. During labor, that framing works against you. Fear and anxiety simply means that something is about to change – and something enormous definitely is about to change. Pain, similarly, is just a signal that something has changed. None of that means something is wrong.

The practical takeaway: the more you resist and brace against those sensations, the more intense they feel. The number one job during delivery is to relax into what your body is already doing – it knows how to deliver this baby. Your role is to stay as eased and unresisting as you can.

When It’s Time to Push

As contractions intensify, there’s often an urge to yell or vocalize with each one. It’s understandable, but it’s not actually useful – making noise spends energy you need elsewhere. Instead:

• Use slow, steady breathing between contractions
• When a contraction arrives, work with it and bear down
• Save your energy specifically for the push itself, rather than spending it on sound

This conservation of energy is what tends to make delivery both easier and quicker.

Why Your Baby Might Not Cry Right Away

Here’s the part almost nobody prepares you for: your baby may not cry the instant they’re born.

Until the umbilical cord is clamped and cut, your baby has still been receiving oxygen and nutrients through the cord – they haven’t needed to breathe on their own yet. So there’s often a brief window of silence right after birth, before a bit of stimulation (a jostle, a rub) prompts that first independent breath, and then the first cry.

If you notice yourself holding your breath in that pause – you’re not alone. It’s an incredibly common, almost universal reaction for a new parent in that moment. It passes in seconds.

After that first cry, the priority shifts to making sure your baby is dried off, cleaned, and warmed – all of which helps regulate their temperature – before they’re placed with you for that first skin-to-skin contact.

Skin-to-Skin and Tummy Time Start Immediately

As soon as possible after birth, your baby will typically be placed directly on your chest for skin-to-skin contact. This isn’t just a nice bonding moment – it’s functionally important. Newborns don’t rely much on sight or sound yet; touch and taste are what they understand. Skin-to-skin contact, and time spent on their tummy lifting their head, is also how they begin strengthening their neck muscles from day one.

The Bottom Line

Labor is genuinely hard work, and there’s no shortcut around that. But relaxing into your body’s process – rather than resisting it – combined with knowing what to expect in those first quiet seconds after birth, takes a surprising amount of the fear out of delivery day.

FAQ: Labor, Delivery & the First Cry

Why didn’t my baby cry immediately after being born?

Until the umbilical cord is cut, a baby is still receiving oxygen through the cord and hasn’t needed to take an independent breath yet. A brief pause before the first cry – while the baby is stimulated to breathe on their own – is completely normal.

Does yelling or making noise during contractions help with pushing?

Not really. Vocalizing spends energy that’s more useful saved for the actual push. Slow breathing between contractions, then bearing down with the contraction itself, tends to be more effective.

Is it normal to feel afraid during labor?

Yes, and it’s worth reframing rather than fighting it. Fear and anxiety are signals that something is about to change – not signs that something is wrong. Resisting those feelings tends to intensify discomfort more than accepting them does.

What happens in the first few minutes after my baby is born?

Your baby will typically be dried, cleaned, and warmed to help regulate temperature, then placed on your chest for skin-to-skin contact – which supports temperature regulation, bonding, and early neck muscle development through early tummy time.